maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize