I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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