I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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