I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
