That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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