Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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