We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude. I can hear the air.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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