i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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