I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
