i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
