I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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