going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
