Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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