i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
