That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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