I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I will be naked everywhere
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
