I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
