i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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