Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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