Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
