they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is my gift to your gina
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
