Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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