THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
be right there i have to get my cape
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
