Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
