She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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