You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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