just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
