It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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