If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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