It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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