I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
