I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize