Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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