she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
