Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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