I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
