She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
