hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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