ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
