Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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