i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
