Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
