why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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