If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I could fuck to npr.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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