how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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