Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
