I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
