he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
