Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
