there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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