sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize