My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
