I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
