Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
