i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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