thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
