the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
