you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
