you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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