You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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