If i come over, it means nothing
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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