is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Randomize
