Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
