dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
