You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
