yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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