Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
