If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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