I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize